Find out what inspired me to start the "Help! My Child's Anxious" podcast with my mother, Vanessa Feltz!
If you have ever felt that pit in your stomach when your child refuses to get out of the car at the school gates or spent hours sitting in a dark hallway during yet another bedtime battle, you are certainly not alone. I see these struggles every single day in my clinic at the Mill Hill Therapy Hub, and I know how isolating it can feel for parents. That is exactly why I decided to team up with someone who has lived the reality of parenting for decades: my mum Vanessa Feltz.
We created the podcast Help! My Child’s Anxious produced by 11-29 Media to bridge the gap between professional therapy advice and the messy real-world experience of raising children. It is one thing for me to sit in my therapy room on Sunbury Avenue and offer strategies, but it is another thing entirely to hear how those strategies actually land in a busy household. By bringing my clinical background as a child therapist together with my mum’s decades of parenting (and grandparenting) experience, we wanted to create a space that feels like a supportive chat over a cup of coffee.
Why We Started This Journey
I have spent years working with children who struggle with anxiety and I realised that while I do my best to support families in person at the Mill Hill Therapy Hub, there are so many families who need help but cannot make it to a physical session. My book Help! My Child's Anxiety is Giving Me Anxiety was a huge step in reaching those parents, but a podcast allows for a different kind of connection.
Working with my mum has been a total joy. She brings her trademark wit and honesty to the table, often asking the exact questions that parents are thinking but might be too afraid to ask. She isn't afraid to challenge the "perfect" advice and ask how it actually works when you're exhausted and your child is having a meltdown.
Dealing with School Avoidance and EBSNA
One of the biggest topics we tackle on the podcast is school avoidance. In the therapy world we often call this EBSNA (Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance). It is a growing issue and it can be incredibly distressing for the whole family. When I work with families at the Hub in Mill Hill I often see parents who feel judged or like they are failing because their child simply cannot go into school.
In our episodes dedicated to school anxiety, we dive deep into why this happens. It isn't just "naughtiness" or a child being difficult. It is usually a sign that the child's nervous system is overwhelmed. I try to share practical ways to communicate with the school and how to build a "soft landing" for your child. My mum adds that vital perspective of how to keep your own cool when you're worried about work and the school run is going haywire.
The Reality of Bedtime Battles
Another massive theme we cover is bedtime. Bedtime anxiety is one of the most common reasons parents reach out to me for support via phone calls, or at the clinic. For many anxious children the transition from a busy day to a quiet dark room is terrifying.
We talk about "The Worry Hour" and how to create routines that actually work without turning into a four-hour marathon every night. I explain the science of what is happening in an anxious brain at night while my mum shares stories from our own family life that remind us all that no one gets it right every single time.
Clinical Expertise Meets Real Life
I hope what makes the podcast helpful is that I am not just talking as an author or a therapist. I am talking as someone who cares deeply about making therapy accessible. Produced by 11-29 Media, the podcast gives us a wonderful space to break these big topics down in a way that feels easy to follow. Whether you are dealing with separation anxiety, social phobia or just general "big feelings", we try to break it down into simple, manageable steps.
I often tell parents that anxiety is like a smoke alarm that is a bit too sensitive. It is trying to keep the child safe but it's going off when there isn't actually a fire. I hope the goal of the podcast is to help you and your child learn how to turn that alarm down.
Come and See Me in Mill Hill
While the podcast is a great way to get started sometimes you need that extra bit of one-on-one support. I work, in person, with children at the Mill Hill Therapy Hub on Sunbury Avenue. It is a warm welcoming space designed specifically to make children feel at ease. Whether we are using play therapy techniques or just talking through things it is a real privilege to see the progress children make when they feel understood.
If you aren't local to Mill Hill I also offer parenting support calls where we can dive into the specific challenges you are facing at home.
Where to Listen
You can find Help! My Child’s Anxious produced by 11-29 Media on all the major platforms including Global Player, Apple Podcasts and Spotify. We release episodes regularly covering everything from sibling rivalry, to how to talk to kids about scary news in the world.
If you have enjoyed the podcast and want to dive deeper my book Help! My Child's Anxiety is Giving Me Anxiety is available now and covers many of these strategies in even more detail. It is designed to be a handbook you can grab whenever you need a bit of guidance.
I would love to hear what you think of the show. Parenting an anxious child is a marathon not a sprint and I hope that by joining me and my mum behind the mic you feel a little bit more equipped for the journey.
